A V. Dissatisfying Week

And so it's upon us.  These days it doesn't seem only to be one day of the calendar year that us singletons are banished indoors with a tub of Pick ‘n’ Mix and 'the Notebook'.  No no, apparently dissatisfied with the hostile takeover of one three-hundred-and-sixty-fifth of the single girl’s year, it now encroaches on the weekend before too, inviting sugary couples out in droves for specially tailored 'romantic cuisine'.  Please.  We’re all familiar with that classic SATC moment, with Carrie and Miranda awkwardly seated at the traditional table for two, dogged by a swarm of frankly discourteous pastel-coloured balloons and then mistaken for lovers, as if the only people allowed to exist on this hateful annual appointment are insufferably happy couples. *Shudder.* I am, of course, referring to V-day.

So below I have compiled a list of things I will be occupying myself with this week to distract myself from inhaling litres of Pralines & Cream ice cream, breaking my alcohol ban, and sobbing uncontrollably into my new Alice In Wonderland pillows (Urban Outfitters – amazing).

Perusal of the Daily Mail Online

I will be spending considerable hours reading the ‘celeb’ pages on Daily Mail Online to remind myself that it could always be worse.  I’m looking at you, Imogen Thomas.

Pretty Vacant

Creating a Playlist of Classic Female Power Anthems

...and playing repeatedly at a high volume.

*Sings loudly and out of tune* ALL THE SINGLE LADIES…

Online Shopping 

Around V-day I choose mostly to peruse in virtual isolation, rather than face ugly confrontation from the stacks of frankly offensive items passed off as V-day 'gift ideas' - heart shaped fried egg moulds, cherry scented bath beads, 'I LOVE Ewe' knitted socks - really.

Spending V-Day alone can be hard on a girl.  Just because I choose to be single (ahem), surely doesn't mean I must miss out on the female's finest annual excuse for extra gifts (however pointless they may prove).

I mean, should I have chosen to involve myself in a relationship, my other half would almost certainly shell out more than a month's rent on this modest Marc Jacobs tote, right?   Surely it's only fair that I gift myself a special little treat as a thanks for the impeccable company I have provided myself over the last 12 months...

'Sherlock' Marathon

Sherlock Holmes doesn't believe in love, thus securing himself the honourable position of perfect V-night companion.   

*Quotes* “I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.”  Quite right, Holmes, couldn't agree more.

I can happily while away the hours nestled on the settee with everyone's favourite - comfortingly heartless - genius detective.

definitely the new sexy

And it doesn't hurt that the part of Sherlock Holmes is currently occupied by one of Britain's most eligible bachelors. *Swoon*.